Thursday, January 26, 2017

New Year, Same Old Sassy Shit

Well ya'll, I was on a fuckin' ROLL with this new year, good mood bullshit three days in to the new year.
I'm talkin' a level of happy optimism reminiscent of Cloud 9 and it's been a good few months since I've partook (partaken? whatever.) of the good ol' ganja. I seriously had to take a moment to determine whether I was on a sugar high from the Triple Chocolate Torte cupcake I had just inhaled/smeared all over my face (shout out to Gigi's!) or if I'd forgotten I'd snorted something earlier this morning, OR if neither of those had anything to do with it and I was turning over a new boulder...because the weight of my perception of the world is much heavier than a damn leaf. 

Onward!
True to form, life happens and I'm reminded of my realistic, borderline pessimistic perception of all things life. What bullshit! 

(Fiiiiine, just sometimes - stamps foot)

I was going to do the whole cliche New Year-outlook-on-life post with all the fluffies and snuggles and warm fuzzies. I've decided I'm still going to reflect on my projected journey for the new year, but it will be much more true to Abigail grumbly form and a lot less sugar (questionable drug) high form from the other day. I am happy to report that I have survived a few more days past the birth of this entry (which is now two weeks ago because I apparently can't handle life enough to finish a damn blog post). Up yours, Trump. Just had to throw that in there considering he advocates for everything that threatens my existence.

So what does 25-year-old -now 26, yippee!- Abigail want (beyond world peace, obvs (that originally said "peach", because I was craving peaches??)) from the year that is bringing her the worst possible candidate for president and her 26th birthday within a matter of days of each other, you might ask? Well, I'm about to fuckin' tell you. Calm your tits. Or don't. It's your life and your chest pain.

Super-Selfish, Privileged, Wish List:

+More tattoos on this damn, too plain body o' mine. I've had a list as long as my damn torso since I was 15 and I have a total of two tattoos. Unacceptable behavior. I'll probably throw in a nip piercing or two for good measure. UPDATE: NEW TAT HAS BEEN OBTAINED. YAS. More later.

+Self-love and unapologetic me time. I have the unabashed habit of mercilessly attacking myself (even though I'm obviously flawless, let's be real) all while exhausting my time, energy, spirit on the happiness of others. This is not being said as a claim that I mirror Mother Theresa. I'm a dick. BUT, I do have an unstoppable force within me that sacrifices my personal happiness and goals to make life easier or more enjoyable for other people. This has been as insignificant as postponing a much-needed hair appointment, because someone wants to hang out and as extreme as not striving for greatness in areas of my life so that I could spend time with someone else. Not really that big of a deal, right? In moderation maybe not, but I have somehow conditioned myself to live my life this way, everyday. Someone else is always more important than me: their desires, needs, dreams, thoughts, etc. I'm going to save you from my inexperienced psychological evaluation, because we'd be here for the rest of our lives, but I am sure it has something to do with growing up in a forced role as a girl in an old-fashioned southern, religious state and household and although I fought tooth and nail to rebel from these ideals, some things creep in and steep unnoticed until the stain is too dark to ignore anymore. I would like to add a more selfish stain this year, without completely masking the other.


That got heavy quick, didn't it?


+ I'd like to retain the friendships that found me and deemed me worthy in 2016. I've never been too skilled with maintaining friendships. Maybe I just come off as a cunt? No seriously, I've been told that before. Thanks, by the way. Dick. For real though, I can be cool sometimes and a few people noticed that this year and decided they'd actually like to spend more than five minutes with me. What is life?? I would like to provide the following disclaimer before I continue, however: In spending time with Abigail, you run the risk of experiencing significantly less coolness and significantly more awkwardness in real life. Abigail is much funnier via internet. User discretion advised. Moving on! I would like to see some of these new friendships bloom into real relationships instead of my usual acquaintance connections. This will take a lot of work on my part, taking on the responsibility of watering these little plants and nurturing them into growth. Ya'll don't mind being called plants, do you? Is this creepy? Nah, I think we're good. Since writing this, I have lost one of those valued relationships which leads me to the next topic.

+ I need to learn to allow others to leave and to effectively let them go. Not everyone has the same capabilities or expectations of themselves as I do. -gasp- Some individuals do not realize their strengths or weaknesses and this can effect the relationships they choose to maintain or choose not maintain with others. I recently lost a friendship I had with someone for the third or fourth time over the last several months and each time it has come as a surprise (how the fuck it's still surprising, I don't fucking know). Regardless, it has been and I have the whiplash bruises to prove it! Chances, chances, chances - I give them in handfuls. I literally figuratively (yes, I know what I just said) hurl chances at people. I just straight up chuck them at their faces. The more chances I waste, the more bitter I want to become. I say all this to say: Abigail needs to chill the fuck out. I can be sad, but ultimately let those who do not want to be here, to not be here. I cannot have a death grip on people that do not, by choice or by not knowing how to, value the same things I do. It will hurt. I generally will still want that connection, but I have no control and the individual is allowed to separate themselves from me for any reason: self-preservation, my obsessive hair-twirling, my constant need to provide my lovely opinion 24/7. All these things warrant separation and I need to be okay with that. Life goals.

Currently - Now that it has been pretty much a month since the initiation of this post (GOD, I'M GOOD), I can evaluate how I have progressed thus far. I am happy to report that I have gotten a new addition to my epidermis (geeeeeek. Can't you tell how smart I am, because I didn't say "skin"??) and it has made me 10x happier than I ever imagined. Maybe I'll write a blog post about that detailing the feels in like four years. Lord help.

I am still struggling with the self-love, but I'm iiiinching in the "me time" bracket!
I is important, dagnamit! 


I am still sad, because I value my true connections with people and I am not sure that will ever change, but I no longer stress myself over the particular situation. It is what it is. It will be what it will be.


I think I'll let you rest the balls in your eye sockets now. Thanks for following along with my incessant gabbing. Hopefully I set aside the me time I should to write another post soon. 
Check you kids latatas.


amg

 














Monday, August 29, 2016

Celebratory Hater Post - It's Like a Party For My Blog!

Uh first, where's the fucking cake and cue the balloons and confetti because this is a damn celebration!
Little ol' Abigail has her first commentator sippin' on that hatorade. If you think this post is petty, you are welcome to see yourself out. Feel free to check back for another post, though. No hard feels.

The rest of you heathens - grab your party hats, popcorn, punch, and Jujubes to enjoy the show.
(Party favors will be booze for all interested at a later date.)

Now, I'm going to direct the remainder of this post to the sweet little gem that inspired it. 
Aren't you special?


Hello Random Person,

I would say nice to meet you (because I'm a lady like that), but I have a sneaking suspicion I have already met you. Instead, I'll say it's nice to see you again and thanks for taking the time out of your obviously painfully busy day to verse me on myself and relationships. So insightful, truly, but let me set you straight on a few things. You don't mind broadening your views on the subject, do you?
oh, good.

And here we go!

First, I would like to point out that no, I do not think I have it all figured out as I stated in my post. Let me direct your attention to the ninth line of my post where I stated, "And I'm also just fucking clueless of how this is all supposed to work." Well, all be damned! Would ya look at that! I think that pretty explicitly states that I'm practically running around like a chicken with my head cut off. All of my musings are merely just that, a reflection, all of which I form personal opinions about and in no way state that my opinions must be the truth.

The next course will be:

You Don't Know My Life Biscuits With a Side Of Eat Shit Gravy - Check it, I don't care how well you think you know me or my relationships. Let me bitch slap you with reality real quick - you don't know as much as you think you do. If you did, you'd have a much better position in my life than just ranting on my measly blog. I take responsibility for the shortcomings I have had in my relationships. However, I am also able to realize the shortcomings of others and I don't shy away from bringing them to light with my own. That's what you do when you're an adult and you want better relationships. You sit down, evaluate, determine what/who needs to change, and you move forward again like an awkward giraffe calf just birthed 6 feet off the ground, not very smoothly but you get there. Also, you don't know me well enough to know what I think so let's just take a chill pill, yeah? Sit down and drink your hate juice.

Moving on!

Sure, love just is. I can get down with that and all the mushy shit you just vomited all over my rational post. However, love can be evaluated and chosen. I might love an addict, but I am not going to choose that life. That doesn't erase the love, but it is a logical step away from it.You can love someone and still realize the need to walk away. Also, I don't know if you read it, but my post wasn't about love. My post was about casually dating. Two very, very different things with very different expectations and outcomes. And, I get butterflies every time I see pancakes, so...

Truckin' right along here - 

I realize that I have high expectations. Everyone who really knows me and listens to my incessant gabbing has heard me say this repeatedly. I do not ask things of others that I am not fully prepared to offer myself. And yes, I will fall short as will they, but there will be a joint desire to meet those expectations.
Love being unplanned or uncontrollable has nothing to do with my expectations. What are you envisioning here? I might see some person trippin' balls on the sidewalk, chasing after a squirrel for their next meal and experience love at first sight because love just is? No. Well maybe if they caught the squirrel, because that shows some impressive skill and dedication. Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! The reason why I am going to fall in love with someone is because they strive to meet my expectations as I would do the same for them. It isn't going to be just some blind force like falling through a time warp where I'm just along for the ride because it's literally uncontrollable. I don't want that kind of love. That's playground love. I want major league love.
"You are always going to fail or be miserable with the requirements, rules and standards you hold." That statement is beyond inaccurate. I am not going to fail, because I am going to continually strive for greatness. Even if I don't attain greatness every time I grasp for it, I am still succeeding just by the effort itself. I would much rather hold high standards for myself and others and not have a perfect outcome than have low expectations that are met every time. I am not going to be miserable, because I am continuously progressing in learning and knowing myself. Also, homegirl over here knows how to make herself happy. I don't need no man!..or woman. I am going to hold out for that person who either meets my expectations or shows me that they are genuinely too high because they strive to meet them first and then educate me as to why I am being unreasonable. That person is going to be worth the wait. I will not settle just because I happen to feel butterflies. I will feel the whole fucking zoo with the right person.

Just around the riverbend!

You're right. I can only control and change myself. That entails controlling who I allow and devote my time to and for whom I want to change.
"If you have been let down in the past, it is due to you letting yourself down and not initiating self control of yourself." I'll give you partial credit. I take full responsibility for expecting things of people that I know cannot meet the requirements. I take full responsibility for settling and fooling myself into wasting time on people who are not worth it. However, I am always honest and forward about the things that I want and expect and I encourage that of others. I also expect them to be honest about whether or not they can or want to meet my expectations. Everyone has the right to say no or bow out. It takes two to tango...not sexually in this situation.
"Stop blaming others and letting yourself down. It will only come when you are ready for it, and not before. So if you want love and don't have it, ask yourself what YOUR doing wrong." First, you're*. Second, I place blame where blame is due. It is usually shared and I reserve the right to determine who has fallen short where, because this is my fucking life. If someone has a problem, I will promptly show them the door because they obviously don't have enough salt to pass muster. I am continually learning from myself and growing. I never claim to be faultless. I am capable of being faulty and realizing the faults in others. I am constantly evaluating myself to determine what I can do to be a better person for myself and that will be worthy of the love that I desire, all of which is no one else's business but mine.

Finale - 

I think you missed the entire point of my post and the blatant sarcasm tucked throughout. The post was about dating casually, my reflections/hypotheses on said dating and the people it involves, and me floundering throughout the process. Netflix and Chill while dating casually is not on the docket for me and this is not a term I would personally use if I were in love with someone.
Yes the long-term goal is to find my person, but at this moment it's about taking the time to explore individuals and myself and fighting the urge to jump into another lackluster relationship.
I hope this has helped you understand that it's best not to speak out of turn and to really know what/whom you're talking about before you open your mouth so that others don't have to clean up the bullshit that you spew. Have a great day and keep striving not to judge others as will I.

P.S. You can't mic drop, because I already did. Snooze, ya lose!

Best,

Abigail

Thursday, August 18, 2016

I'm In Foreign Waters: The Dating Game

Well ya'll, I think it has finally been long enough for me to own up to the fact that I am fucking single.

SING.LE.
like a dollar bill in a stripper's thong

but a classy one



Doesn't that word just drip anxiety? For someone like myself who happens to be a serial monogamist, it does.

Hi. My name is Abigail Griffin and it has been 1 month since my last serious relationship.
*snaps for applause*


At the wise, old age of 25, I find that I have done myself an injustice by not allowing myself to date - like real, grown-up, adulting stuff. And I'm also just fucking clueless of how this is all supposed to work. I feel like there's this general idea that guides how dating is supposed to work, but it is becoming more and more obvious to me that everyone has their own individual interpretation of what dating is.

First, you have what in my mind is "Movie Dating". My favorite example of this type of dating is the movie How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days. (If you haven't seen it, go repent, watch it, and get back to me. Kate Hudson. Yum. Matthew McConaughey. Yes, sweet Jesus.) 
The premise of the movie is that both of these people are dating each other for their own personal bets - one wants to terrorize the other until they split, and the other wants to wine and dine until the other falls in love. It's hilarious and endearing. 
But back to the dating aspect: They both actively go out on dates whether it's a Celine Dion concert, a semi-finals basketball game, dinner, or a home-cooked meal with the game playing in the background. There's no Netflix and Chill. I repeat, there is no Netflix and Chill. I'm not even going to get into that idea and our generation. That is a whoooooole different blog post waiting to happen. The few weeks of them dating shows a gradual gravity between them where the relationship gets more and more personal until there's a specific time where McConaughey asks Hudson to attend an event with him, but as his girlfriend officially. 
So, in short (which I am obviously incapable of doing), there's a span of time where two people date each other casually, maybe dating others along the way, have sex when it just feels right, and potentially vibe enough to where they take the step to become exclusive. 

Then, there's this whole idea that "hanging out" is dating, which almost always turns into a relationship, and not very successful ones in my experience. This is a version of Netflix and Chill, where one or both individuals are insecure in their claim on the other and they feel compelled to latch on before they even really know if there is something substantial there out of which to form a relationship.  Lesbians, or fellow members of the gay community, know this as "u-hauling". I'm pretty confident we have all done it and the majority of these situations do not end up blooming into fruitful relationships. Key word is fruuuuitful. PLEASE, someone somewhere tell me I'm wrong so that hopeless romantic Abigail can have a field day. You're lying.
Instead of wining and dining each other, keeping some distance, and really exploring each other, people like to just chill. "Come over to my house and watch a movie." Sure, "watch" "a movie".
 -insert eyeroll- 
Because, we all fucking know what that means: we will both pose as if we are genuinely interested in this movie, but really we just want to make a move on each other, which almost always ends up happening and then someone is miraculously surprised as to why/how you just had sex with one another. Boundaries, anyone?! Gross and boring and easy. Yes, I'm judging you. Yes, I have done it. So, sue me, because I'm judging myself too.
In my opinion, this sets a much lower standard for a relationship. Individuals become too familiar too quickly and they feel a pull to each other that they shouldn't in such a short time. Whenever another option comes around for either party, it sends the other into a frenzy and they feel as if they have to lock each other down so that they don't have to deal with the possibility of not being the chosen one, when in reality, finding out if you are the chosen one is very important. If you aren't going to be chosen while you're just dating or hanging out with someone, you most likely won't be chosen even while you're in a relationship with someone. Chew on THAT ONE for a while. Reeeeally grind it down. We'll have a spitting contest later. I'll win, because I'm older and wiser. Obviously.

I guess where I get lost is, how much information is the other person privy to regarding whether or not you're dating or having sex with other people. What actions are too personal and should be reserved for exclusive relationships and which actions aren't? Is jealousy allowed? Uh, because homegirl over here likes territory markers. Perks of being a serial monogamist, I should think.
 Let's have a quick Q&A!
Q: How much information is the other person privy to regarding whether or not you're dating or having sex with other people?
A: I think all parties should be aware of whether or not the other is sexually active with others. Maybe it should just be an assumption? But I think being forward and clear is the best policy. I also think it's best to inform each other that you're dating other people, unless specifically requested not to. Sometimes people let that information effect their thoughts and it ruins the whole thing, so as long as both parties are in agreement about what information to divulge and what not to, all is right with the world.
Q: What actions are too personal and should be reserved for exclusive relationships and which aren't?
A: Obviously, don't invite someone you're dating to a funeral or family occasion. To me, those are perks of being exclusive. Sometimes I blur these lines, because I care about people and their well-being. NO. DON'T. DO. IT. It just skews the current nature of the relationship and makes you feel as if there's more there than there actually is.  Also, still trying to decide if butterfly kisses should be a perk of exclusivity. Will report back.
Q: Is jealousy allowed?
A: Whether it's allowed or not, it will be there, lurking. I enjoy very clearly noting what is mine and what is not. However, in the dating game, nothing is yours. Even though jealousy is inevitable for some people (who the hell is it not inevitable for, because you're not real), that does not mean that any actions caused by jealousy are appropriate. You get to hold that little demon nugget in your head or deep in your stomach until you have been given the exclusivity token at which point you can spew all that pent up jealousy on the next scrub that thinks they have a special role in your special somebody's life like a bunch of winning tickets spurting out of an arcade game. Go big or go home.

I realize that it all comes down to people and communication. It is imperative to communicate expectations, opinions, concerns regarding an issue like dating and the guidelines of each individual's interpretation. I feel as though people fall short in this area which leads to obvious complications. And seriously, trying to date different people each with their own interpretation of what dating is can give a girl some intense whiplash.

I think most often people are scared. They're scared of rejection or of not being the person that the person they currently want, wants. Instead of being an adult and facing those fears, being honest, they morph into something that the other person prefers or they swear up, down, side-to-side, Hail Mary that they can be who the other person wants. This can only last so long, however, and then what happens? You have just wasted your time and their time. This is something I have realized I no longer have time for, which could also be its own blog entry because I don't know how to shut up! Just own it. Own who you are and what you want, be honest, and don't apologize for it.

All-in-all, I will enjoy the opportunity of this long overdue dating period of my "young" adulthood and I do not intend on cutting it short for anyone unworthy. I am so tired of my time being wasted because of someone else's insecurities or even my own. I am 25 and I can own that I have no interest in being the Netflix and Chill girl. I have no interest in being a fuck buddy or dating randoms. I want to date potential. I want someone to share a life with and Netflix and chill material isn't going to cut it.

.mic drop.

amg

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

W(h)ine Wednesday: 25 Years Of Baggage In Tow. Er, Just Kidding. It's Tuesday!

As you can see, this post was intended for a couple of weeks ago with a bottle of wine at the ready. I wanted to wait to post it until I could add a few cutesy pictures and of course, a staged picture of myself guzzling a bottle of my current preferred wine. Didn't happen. WHY? Because I'm me. And, I just love me. So, here you go - two weeks late and on a Tuesday no less with one teeny-tiny, sweet picture. ENJOY IT, damn it.
_______________________________________________________________________________
I've recently undergone a pretty serious life change and with those always come evaluations of one's self and the baggage that has amassed. It kind of helps me realign things that have been skewed and catch all of those squabbling ducks that have wandered off and put them back in a row. Baggage can be viewed as a negative contributor, but I also think it can be an asset. It has the ability to represent your battle scars. If you look beyond the fact that you are currently or have been carting a bunch of bullshit, you can see your resilience in each stitch of every suitcase you lug. Let's go through mine, shall we?!
To prevent this from getting all cut-your-wrist depressing, I have decided to tell you some interesting, boring, and awkward things about myself that my baggage has brought to my attention. 

Because yes, and why wouldn't you be dying to know? BAM. 

Here we go:


  1. I identify as Bisexual. That does not mean I'm confused or can't decide which gender I prefer. It also doesn't mean I'm a slut. It means I don't allow gender to determine who I am attracted to. I am attracted to a person, not a hoohah or weinerschnitzel.
  2. I will always regret not officially coming out and not doing it sooner, even though I was in a very dangerous environment to do so.
  3. Up until a few years ago, I pronounced "espresso" like "eXpresso", because I'm obviously a genius and so much cooler than you. I had an aha moment when I worked at Starbucks for a while. Light bulb!
  4. I don't like change in official areas of my life - work, school, but I get stir crazy if things are always the same. Yes, I know how contradictive that is.
  5. I would always rather be somewhere besides where I am. I choose to look at it like I'm always striving for greatness as opposed to the depressingly true version that I'm never satisfied.
  6. Give me a beach and a horse and I'm good.
    No, this is not me..but it should be.
  7. Firm believer in Karma. I've been on both ends.
  8. I was a total kleptomaniac until the age of about 17 - only at huge, douchey corporations like Wal-Mart, because I thought I was sticking it to the man. You can thank my sister for that one.
  9. My dad moved out of the country on my 11th birthday. I was able to travel to Turkey and Greece to see him at the age of 13(14?) after a two year stint of no communication.
  10. Most of the people I consider to be true family are not blood-related.
  11. It's really difficult for me not to double-dip...like really difficult.
  12. I don't think about how dirty things are because I would be a legitimate germophobe if I did - straight up Jack Nicholson style in As Good As It Gets. (awesome movie, btw)
  13. I LOVE LURVE LAAAAHVE dancing - any kind. Current fave is two-stepping. I was in ballet for 4-5 years and I will always be bitter about not being able to continue.
  14. I get annoyed by how logical I am. I have not pursued a writing career or a music career due to the fact that most people don't make it in these areas, but they will always be passions of mine.
  15. I cannot stand small talk. I'd rather sit in silence - or drive a knife through my skull - than have meaningless conversation.
  16. The worst possible date for me is dinner, or lunch, or breakfast. There will always be food in my hair. PLEASE don't ask me out to eat. My incapability to complete the simple task of transferring food from plate and drink from cup to my mouth will probably not win you over.
  17. I feel sexiest when I wear something off-the-shoulder and please, pleeeeease compliment me on my perfume. Because what else is a girl good for other than showing off some freckled shoulders and smelling like a goddess?
  18. My confidence lies in my hair and my freckled shoulders.
  19. I broke my right ankle in three places (left, right, back) in 2013. I am very self-conscious of the scars from surgery and constant swelling, because my ankles used to be one of my favorite parts of my body and now one of them looks suspiciously close to a cankle.
  20. I fractured my skull and broke a bone in my ear two months prior. I now have a prosthetic bone in my right ear to help recover my hearing loss. I still can't hear worth a shit and have serious memory issues. It's really cool. And yes, I did get to keep the real bone. That's actually really cool.
  21. I will replay a song over and over and over until I feel like I have heard it enough. It can last for hours or days. The same goes for movies. Bite me.
  22. Movies and Moscato are life.
  23. I would rather spend five hours trying to figure something out for myself than have someone else do it in two minutes. Seriously, I'm that stubborn. It's annoying.
  24. My patience level is like -2,000 at all times. I'm a work-in-progess, okay?!
  25. My cremated bits and pieces will probably continue rolling my eyes until the end of time.
    And one more for good measure!
  26. I cannot stand people who are having an active text conversation with me but continuously reply 20minutes or later...did you fall into a black hole?? Also, I am the person who will open your text, read it, and plum forget to respond for like a week..because I probably saw something shiny. Hypocrite. THERE, I said it.
amg

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Jock Royalty, White Male Privilege, Social Class Superiority - Oh, What a Wonderous World!

Update

As if Brockie T. and his dad weren't disgusting enough, Brockie's father has launched a fundraiser to help with legal fees. Thoughts? Plenty.
  1. Who the fuck would donate money to a rapist? The scary thing is that there are people that surely will. "We feel so sorry for you that you got so drunk you just slipped and fell on an unconscious girl and accidentally raped her. Please take our money, you poor thing! You can't make it to the Olympics, but we'll fund you for rape."
  2. You want people to donate money to your son for something that he caused?
  3. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say they surely have the money for this lawyer, but why not take even more advantage of people when you can, right? Who seriously lacks the kind of humility to pay for their rape debt?!
  4. This fundraiser is dripping with sympathy for this douche and his family, like he's the victim, like he was the one dragged behind a dumpster and raped. 
  5. Maybe forcing your son to take responsibility for his actions, get a job, and pay the debt himself would be an eye-opener for him. Probably not, but a girl can dream.
  6. Does anyone even realize the monumental financial hole you find yourself in when you're raped??  So, the person who caused this entire situation is being offered financial support, but the person this happened to isn't. 
Seriously, my skin is boiling and I want to vomit.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I was saving this special, little gold-nugget-of-a-post with a different focus entirely, but due to a recent uproar I'm going to highlight this little prick: This is Brock Turner, age 20, former and exalted Stanford swimmer.

I prefer the term rapist, but to each their own.

Would ya take a look at the difference of those pictures! The first, is the booking photo from the night he raped an unconscious, intoxicated woman. The second photo is his yearbook photo - the one you have undoubtedly seen plastered all over the news and countless stories until yesterday, when Stanford finally released the photo from the night of the rape that took place over a year ago
A little background:
Santa Clara County Judge Aaron Persky (aka, a sorry excuse for a judge) sentenced Brockie to six months in the county jail with three years of probation on June 2, 2016. (I feel a nickname is appropriate due to the little hand-slapping punishment he's receiving.) Persky's excuse for the measly sentence was he understood the "devastation" the victim suffered, but he feared the imprisonment of Brock would have a "severe" impact on him. Hm, severe. Oh, you mean like being raped while you're unconscious and having to wake up in a hospital for someone to inform you that you have been violated and then witnessing your assailant using every scapegoat in the book to repeatedly be excused for his actions? Good call.
A jury found him guilty of three felonies: assault with the attempt to commit rape, sexual penetration with a foreign object of an intoxicated person, and sexual penetration with a foreign object of an unconscious person.


Let's just be real here for a sec: Brockie was noticed by two bicyclists raping an unconscious and intoxicated woman behind a dumpster. 

The scene was so horrifying that one of them could not stop crying throughout his explanation of the event.You can find a short blurb about them here.



Sidebar, just to reflect:

Moving on to the little turd's gem-of-a-father:
This special little-miracle-of-a-man submitted a letter to the judge before the sentencing  in defense of Brockie. A few highlights -
+ details Brock's previous joy in cooking/eating which he has now lost
+ Brock's life will never be the same because of "20 minutes of action"
+ No priors, no violence toward anyone except this one teeny tiny incident
+ Brock is committed to educating those about the dangers of alcohol and sexual promiscuity
+ Brock - a rapist, in case you forgot - should educate other students to allow society to break the cycle of binge drinking and its "unfortunate results"
You can find the whole letter here. I can't imagine you continuing life without reading this beautiful piece of bullshit.
My response, you ask??
+ No one gives a shit what Brock used to enjoy and now doesn't. Why? He alone is responsible - not this woman that decided to go to a party with her sister and drink, not the Swedish men who allowed his arrest, and I'll even go out on a limb here and say the hosts of the party aren't to blame either. Brock took it upon himself to take advantage of a very sensitive situation, because he felt entitled.
+ If Brock's father deems it appropriate to refer to a rape as "20 minutes of action", I can understand why Brock believes it is okay to rape an unconscious woman and hold no remorse or responsibility for it. Also, no one gives a fuck about the way Brock's life has been altered. He literally brought it upon himself. The rape did, has, and will last more than 20 minutes for the victim, I can assure you.
+ What is the point of mentioning Brock having zero priors?? Not committing rape before actually raping someone does not excuse the rape. We don't get pats on the back for not committing crimes. He is not a victim.Your son is now a rapist, period.
+ Rape is not a danger of alcohol and sexual promiscuity. It is the danger of entitled pricks not being held accountable for taking something they want and then being applauded for swimming times. It is the danger of a rape being ignored because of someone's color, someone's social class, and reflecting solely on the assumed failures of the woman to avoid such a situation.
+ The only thing Brock will be strengthening the education of is the unavoidable truth of how easy it is to get away with rape if your color is just right, you've got some change in your pocket, and as an added bonus you're a worshiped jock. A rape is not an unfortunate result of binge drinking. It is not an accident. There is no "Oops!", "Oh, well!", or "I'll do better next time". Rape and drinking do not go hand-in-hand. You decide to drink and you decide to rape.
Just to further show how much Brockie is not a victim, here is his statement to the judge detailing just how much of a victim he is and that he refuses to take responsibility for his actions. I'm not even going to add my two cents, because it would be more like a million dollars and Brockie humiliates himself just fine on his own.
Other fantastic points of view:
Just in case you'd like a play-by-play on Brockie's statement, this chick has some bite.

This guy's June 6th post says it perfectly when it comes to the effects of drunkenness and douchebaggery: "I've been drunk many times, even in the prescence of promiscuous women who were also drunk, and I managed not to rape them, so I don't think drinking and promiscuity are the problems.
This here is the problem: some guys are entitled pricks, and they're entitled pricks because their fathers and coaches and friends taught them to be entitled pricks. Because they are entitled pricks, they think they can have whatever they want, and that their worth is defined by what they have and what they take.
Alcohol has this capacity to unlock what, deep down, we've always wanted to do."
I strongly urge you to read the remainder of the post.

Here are a couple more do-gooders that have spoken out - a father of a son to the father of Brock, and a 20-year-old male with a message for the victim.
The victim:
I'm going to leave you with the victim's letter to Brock. It is long. It is detailed. It is grueling. But, it is strong and brave and beautiful and true. As a fellow victim of sexual assault, this letter and the pain resonates with me. It never leaves you and there are few things that are more infuriating than watching the perpetrator get away with a slap on the wrist, if anything at all, and exuding zero remorse.
Her last paragraph is dedicated to "girls everywhere":
"And finally, to girls everywhere, I am with you. On nights when you feel alone, I am with you. When people doubt you or dismiss you, I am with you. I fought everyday for you. So never stop fighting, I believe you. Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining. Although I can’t save every boat, I hope that by speaking today, you absorbed a small amount of light, a small knowing that you can’t be silenced, a small satisfaction that justice was served, a small assurance that we are getting somewhere, and a big, big knowing that you are important, unquestionably, you are untouchable, you are beautiful, you are to be valued, respected, undeniably, every minute of every day, you are powerful and nobody can take that away from you. To girls everywhere, I am with you. Thank you."
amg

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Movie Monday!!

Happy Moooovie Mooooonday!
Alright, alright. I'm aware it's Tuesday, but let's all pretend so that I can do this thing I've been waiting all weekend to do and then completely forgot about because I'm cool, shaaall we??
Yes! Here we go.
Now, those of you who don't know me are unaware of my ridiculously zealous love affair with movies.
I LOVE THEM. ALL THE MOVIES. IT IS LOVE. 
Okay, I'm cool.


So, I have this thing for connecting actors and actresses to other movies/shows when I see them in a film and of course, quoting films. It's this nice little trivia treat for my mind. When I'm not paying attention to the movie, I'm trying to tie each actor/actress back to old films/shows they've done, especially those that aren't as famous as say Brad Pitt or Julia Roberts, because that's more difficult - duh.
And believe you me, if anyone tells me the answer before I can make the connection, they will be straight up merked. Dead, I tell ya. Where's the shovel? And if I get stumped, IMDb is my bible. BUT, I will seriously go hours before I give in. Can you tell I don't like losing?

Aaaaaanywhoozles, Movie Mondays are a way for me to share my love of movies with you and highlight ones that have struck me in some way. I'll most likely be bringing you positive reviews unless something just really grinds my gears - like ridiculous rape scenes,(eye roll) kill me, won't even go there right now. I am not a legitimate movie critic, so this will include only what I think is important for the specific film and why I loved it.

Without further ado - 

This Monday's featured movie is *drum roll* :
Brooklyn

This one is fairly new (November 2015). It's considered a romance/drama. Yes, please. And ya'll, this shit is so lovely. So lovely in fact that immediately once it was over, I turned it right back on and watched it again - eyes glued. Didn't even care that I'd get charged another night by Redbox.
(High-roller over heeeeaaah.) My heart did all the pitter-patters and giddy giggles. This fucker is so fulfilling even "Rotten Tomatoes" gave it a 97%. Ninety-Seven! Speaks for itself, but I'll continue.

Synopsis: An Irish immigrant (Saoirse Ronan) in 1950s New York falls for a tough Italian plumber (Emory Cohen), but faces temptation from another man (Domhnall Gleeson) when she returns to her homeland for a visit.
↑↑ There is so much more to it than that!
It's love and temptation yes, but it's also growing up and being brave and learning to laugh through loss and move on, and the singing! Oh, the short and sweet, melancholy Irish singing! Don't even get me started on the costumes and locations. Be still, my heart. LORD, just watch it!
Leading Lady/Men: Saoirse Ronan (How I Live Now, Atonement, The Lovely Bones); Emory Cohen (The Place Beyond the Pines, The Gambler); Domhnall Gleeson (About Time, Harry Potter, The Revenant)

I'm not even going to get into how attractive these people are, because their skills both in and out of this movie are more than enough, but yum.

Saoirse was nominated for a 2016 Golden Globe and a 2016 Oscar for Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role for this movie. The movie itself was nominated for Best Movie of the Year for the 2016 Oscars and went on be nominated for and to win several other awards. Nuff said, homes.
Also, I think it's a true testament to the strength of a movie when not only the leads are fantastic, but the supporting actors and actresses keep your attention as well. Even Jessica Paré from Mad Men makes an appearance. We have a winner, ladies and gents.

Well, I think that's just about enough for a Monday on a Tuesday. Let me know what you do and don't like. What should I mention about my movie next time? Lemme have it!
amg

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

What To Expect When You're Expecting...Censorship?

See what I did there??


For real though don't, I repeat DO NOT, expect censorship here. There will be none.
 There's the door.

This blog will be a direct reflection of me - insanity and all. Some days will be sunshine with a nice breeze. Some days will be tidal waves. And, some days will be a fucking Quaketigernado (My Okies know what's up - all others Google Oklahoma weather memes right meow!) Fine, I'll make it easy:
No truer words have ever been spoken, Mr. Gump. 

I plan to attack (by which I mean bitch about) current events quite often, especially while this Trump monstrosity continues to eat through our precious oxygen resource here on planet Earth. I will also most likely gripe about the general public throughout my day-to-day. I will consider throwing in some of my poems here and there to further encourage my unavoidable embarrassment and document my travels, highs, and lows through life. But, to make sure you don't all kill over from my hulk-outs, I intend to lighten things up with  Movie Mondays  and  ♥W(h)ine Wednesdays♥. You'll soon learn those are two of the most important things in life. Oh, goody! More to come on those later.

I hope you guys genuinely enjoy an insight into my mind, the roller coaster that is my emotions, and that you always feel free to comment, whether in agreement or disagreement. Just don't be a dick.👍 

Happy Tuesday!
amg