W(h)ine Wednesday: 25 Years Of Baggage In Tow. Er, Just Kidding. It's Tuesday!

As you can see, this post was intended for a couple of weeks ago with a bottle of wine at the ready. I wanted to wait to post it until I could add a few cutesy pictures and of course, a staged picture of myself guzzling a bottle of my current preferred wine. Didn't happen. WHY? Because I'm me. And, I just love me. So, here you go - two weeks late and on a Tuesday no less with one teeny-tiny, sweet picture. ENJOY IT, damn it.
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I've recently undergone a pretty serious life change and with those always come evaluations of one's self and the baggage that has amassed. It kind of helps me realign things that have been skewed and catch all of those squabbling ducks that have wandered off and put them back in a row. Baggage can be viewed as a negative contributor, but I also think it can be an asset. It has the ability to represent your battle scars. If you look beyond the fact that you are currently or have been carting a bunch of bullshit, you can see your resilience in each stitch of every suitcase you lug. Let's go through mine, shall we?!

To prevent this from getting all cut-your-wrist depressing, I have decided to tell you some interesting, boring, and awkward things about myself that my baggage has brought to my attention. 

Because yes, and why wouldn't you be dying to know? BAM. 

Here we go:

1. I identify as Bisexual. That does not mean I'm confused or can't decide which gender I prefer. It also doesn't mean I'm a slut. It means I don't allow gender to determine who I am attracted to. I am attracted to a person, not a hoohah or weinerschnitzel.
2. I will always regret not officially coming out and not doing it sooner, even though I was in a very dangerous environment to do so.
3. Up until a few years ago, I pronounced "espresso" like "eXpresso", because I'm obviously a genius and so much cooler than you. I had an aha moment when I worked at Starbucks for a while. Light bulb!
4. I don't like change in official areas of my life - work, school, but I get stir crazy if things are always the same. Yes, I know how contradictive that is.
5. I would always rather be somewhere besides where I am. I choose to look at it like I'm always striving for greatness as opposed to the depressingly true version that I'm never satisfied.
6. Give me a beach and a horse and I'm good.

   

   No, this is not me..but it should be.

7. Firm believer in Karma. I've been on both ends.
8. I was a total kleptomaniac until the age of about 17 - only at huge, douchey corporations like Wal-Mart, because I thought I was sticking it to the man. You can thank my sister for that one.
9. My dad moved out of the country on my 11th birthday. I was able to travel to Turkey and Greece to see him at the age of 13(14?) after a two year stint of no communication.
10. Most of the people I consider to be true family are not blood-related.
11. It's really difficult for me not to double-dip...like really difficult.
12. I don't think about how dirty things are because I would be a legitimate germophobe if I did - straight up Jack Nicholson style in As Good As It Gets. (awesome movie, btw)
13. I LOVE LURVE LAAAAHVE dancing - any kind. Current fave is two-stepping. I was in ballet for 4-5 years and I will always be bitter about not being able to continue.
14. I get annoyed by how logical I am. I have not pursued a writing career or a music career due to the fact that most people don't make it in these areas, but they will always be passions of mine.
15. I cannot stand small talk. I'd rather sit in silence - or drive a knife through my skull - than have meaningless conversation.
16. The worst possible date for me is dinner, or lunch, or breakfast. There will always be food in my hair. PLEASE don't ask me out to eat. My incapability to complete the simple task of transferring food from plate and drink from cup to my mouth will probably not win you over.
17. I feel sexiest when I wear something off-the-shoulder and please, pleeeeease compliment me on my perfume. Because what else is a girl good for other than showing off some freckled shoulders and smelling like a goddess?
18. My confidence lies in my hair and my freckled shoulders.
19. I broke my right ankle in three places (left, right, back) in 2013. I am very self-conscious of the scars from surgery and constant swelling, because my ankles used to be one of my favorite parts of my body and now one of them looks suspiciously close to a cankle.
20. I fractured my skull and broke a bone in my ear two months prior. I now have a prosthetic bone in my right ear to help recover my hearing loss. I still can't hear worth a shit and have serious memory issues. It's really cool. And yes, I did get to keep the real bone. That's actually really cool.
21. I will replay a song over and over and over until I feel like I have heard it enough. It can last for hours or days. The same goes for movies. Bite me.
22. Movies and Moscato are life.
23. I would rather spend five hours trying to figure something out for myself than have someone else do it in two minutes. Seriously, I'm that stubborn. It's annoying.
24. My patience level is like -2,000 at all times. I'm a work-in-progess, okay?!
25. My cremated bits and pieces will probably continue rolling my eyes until the end of time.
    
    And one more for good measure!
26. I cannot stand people who are having an active text conversation with me but continuously reply 20minutes or later...did you fall into a black hole?? Also, I am the person who will open your text, read it, and plum forget to respond for like a week..because I probably saw something shiny. Hypocrite. THERE, I said it.

amg
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