And I don't mean the ones you threw back with your vodka at frat parties.
Whom do I speak of, you ask? Well, I'll fuckin' tell ya!
Sit back, relax with your Old Fashioned in your chummy little cardigan, and feast your eyes on this righteousness to follow.
The Chaser:
This adorable spirit is someone almost everyone is drawn to. Why? They're also a charmer, a flirt. They enjoy the reactions and attention they get from puffing up other people. Let's pause, because I feel like someone may have missed it. They do this for themselves, not to bring others happiness. That's very important to remember, because it's ridiculously easy to forget when you're the center of their attention.They are often most comfortable being the life of the party and have no lack of friends. Generally, their friends get the best of their personality. This completely works in their favor, because their friends love them through and through and they'll tell ya aaaaall about it. Remember, their friends have probably never dated them.More often than not, they are physically attractive and are very aware of this, though they may act as if they are not. They're lying. Actually, they're just liars.
It's all fun and games when both parties involved are aware that their interactions are just fun nothings. They become The Chaser when the opposite party realizes what type of person they are and is not immediately receptive of their common wooing. This excites and may even frustrate them. The chase has then begun.
It's all fun and games when both parties involved are aware that their interactions are just fun nothings. They become The Chaser when the opposite party realizes what type of person they are and is not immediately receptive of their common wooing. This excites and may even frustrate them. The chase has then begun.
*It is also important to note that there are varying degrees of Chasers. Some are mellow and seemingly innocent about their schemes while others are very intense and borderline abusive. Both suck in my book.
The Chase:
This part can become unbelievably fun and fulfilling in the beginning for both The Chaser and The Chasee, a kind of flirtatious and lustful tango, full of laughs and curiosity. It really can be a dreamy dimension suspended in time.
Here's the dry, no bullshit version: Basically, it all boils down to The Chaser analyzing and understanding how The Chasee functions: their strengths, weaknesses, good qualities, faulty qualities. They use this information to break through the boundaries that The Chasee has for people like The Chaser and to manipulate the qualities The Chasee has in order to win them over. This can be anything from preferred physical touch, to life goals, or something as simple as remembering characteristic details that not many people take the time to recognize (a particular facial expression you make at a particular time, the way you do something in particular differently than everyone else).
At some point, usually once The Chasee's gaurd has been lifted and they have become invested in a relationship The Chaser has showcased, The Chaser will reverse the rolls. They will then withhold the dreamy dimension they created, a veil will be lifted, and yet The Chasee will find themselves frantically grasping for what was there all while scratching their head and trying to maintain balance after the whiplash.
It is unbelievably easy to go from knowing better and keeping your distance, to knowing better and giving in, to knowing better but convincing yourself you don't know better and that it's okay. If The Chasee is in any way receptive to the charms of The Chaser, it's pretty much game over. Remember that Navy Seal sniper I mentioned in my last post? That's The Chaser and they will obliterate The Chasee. That's not to say The Chasee can't realize what is going on and pull the plug, but it is much more difficult to see a situation when you are suffocating in the middle of it.
Most often, when The Chaser has The Chasee hook, line, and sinker, there's no jumping back into the river (not without wounds, I might add) until The Chaser decides to let them loose and seek out a new catch.
Here's the dry, no bullshit version: Basically, it all boils down to The Chaser analyzing and understanding how The Chasee functions: their strengths, weaknesses, good qualities, faulty qualities. They use this information to break through the boundaries that The Chasee has for people like The Chaser and to manipulate the qualities The Chasee has in order to win them over. This can be anything from preferred physical touch, to life goals, or something as simple as remembering characteristic details that not many people take the time to recognize (a particular facial expression you make at a particular time, the way you do something in particular differently than everyone else).
At some point, usually once The Chasee's gaurd has been lifted and they have become invested in a relationship The Chaser has showcased, The Chaser will reverse the rolls. They will then withhold the dreamy dimension they created, a veil will be lifted, and yet The Chasee will find themselves frantically grasping for what was there all while scratching their head and trying to maintain balance after the whiplash.
It is unbelievably easy to go from knowing better and keeping your distance, to knowing better and giving in, to knowing better but convincing yourself you don't know better and that it's okay. If The Chasee is in any way receptive to the charms of The Chaser, it's pretty much game over. Remember that Navy Seal sniper I mentioned in my last post? That's The Chaser and they will obliterate The Chasee. That's not to say The Chasee can't realize what is going on and pull the plug, but it is much more difficult to see a situation when you are suffocating in the middle of it.
Most often, when The Chaser has The Chasee hook, line, and sinker, there's no jumping back into the river (not without wounds, I might add) until The Chaser decides to let them loose and seek out a new catch.
The Bait:
I have come to realize that the most inspiring thing you can be for The Chaser, is a strong, stubborn, yet compassionate, and sassy as fuck person. I swear to all that is holier than a baby cherub those qualities alone will light a fire so damn hot under their ass, they'll shoot off like a rocket and come back like a heat-seeking missile. Nothing is more intoxicating to them than someone who immediately refuses to bat their eyelashes, giggle at them, and hang on to every word they say. It completely warps their perception of life and they cannot understand it.
So, what's a strong, stubborn, (annoyingly compassionate), sassy as fuck god/dess to do? STAY WOKE. You know better. I know they are probably sexier than a threesome involving Ryan Gosling, Michelle Rodriguez, and Angelina Jolie, but once you realize who they really are, that attraction crumbles like an over-baked chocolate chip cookie. It's just as depressing too. (By the way, if you don't think that threesome is enticing, feel free to swap in people of your own choosing, or just pick one. Have a field day!)
Okay. Well great, Abigail. What the fuck do I do when I get played and catch feelings? I'm glad you asked, you amazing collection of atoms, you.
So, what's a strong, stubborn, (annoyingly compassionate), sassy as fuck god/dess to do? STAY WOKE. You know better. I know they are probably sexier than a threesome involving Ryan Gosling, Michelle Rodriguez, and Angelina Jolie, but once you realize who they really are, that attraction crumbles like an over-baked chocolate chip cookie. It's just as depressing too. (By the way, if you don't think that threesome is enticing, feel free to swap in people of your own choosing, or just pick one. Have a field day!)
Okay. Well great, Abigail. What the fuck do I do when I get played and catch feelings? I'm glad you asked, you amazing collection of atoms, you.
The Wake-Up Call:
If you've succumbed to the Siren song, don't fret. I would just love to meet someone who hasn't fallen for it at least once. They don't exist, unless they are the Siren. Fuck them. (I've really enjoyed saying that lately.) Onward!
What's important to remember is, you are no less intelligent, no less beautiful, no less unique because you have fallen for someone's facade. More often than not, The Chaser is very skilled in their talent and they have a thorough understanding of how to groom people. They are also ridiculously persistent and dangerously charming.
If anything, I'd say bravo for being able to trust someone regardless of their features. Bravo for allowing yourself gentleness and compassion and eventually, bravo for waking up, recognizing the poison, and stepping away with a lesson to refer back to.
Sleep well knowing that some day The Chaser will meet their match, and it may actually have been you. They will realize their mistake and they will feel like shit. Don't hold out hope (or air freshener) thinking this will change them, however.
One thing that I say repeatedly and I will never stop saying is trust yourself. Now that you have seen the attributes of this caliber of human, you are so much more well-equipped to prevent being duped in the future. If that alarm goes off, listen to it. Not everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. I understand not wanting to be regretful, not wanting to jump to conclusions, but don't hesitate to call it like you see it. I'd much rather walk away from harm I've already experienced than keep experiencing it just because I can't trust myself. If you would rather risk it, go on witchyo bad, daredevil self. Just don't tell me I didn't tell ya. Cus I fuckin' did. And you know what? If you're duped again, IT'S OKAY. Forgive yourself, move on, and believe yourself next time.
*Disclaimer: I obviously do not have all of the answers, but I enjoy calling things as I see them and highlighting those pills I have had trouble swallowing. I hope there are some scraps here you can take with you.
Until the next human pisses me off enough to write another blog post - stay classy and sassy, ya'll.
What's important to remember is, you are no less intelligent, no less beautiful, no less unique because you have fallen for someone's facade. More often than not, The Chaser is very skilled in their talent and they have a thorough understanding of how to groom people. They are also ridiculously persistent and dangerously charming.
If anything, I'd say bravo for being able to trust someone regardless of their features. Bravo for allowing yourself gentleness and compassion and eventually, bravo for waking up, recognizing the poison, and stepping away with a lesson to refer back to.
Sleep well knowing that some day The Chaser will meet their match, and it may actually have been you. They will realize their mistake and they will feel like shit. Don't hold out hope (or air freshener) thinking this will change them, however.
One thing that I say repeatedly and I will never stop saying is trust yourself. Now that you have seen the attributes of this caliber of human, you are so much more well-equipped to prevent being duped in the future. If that alarm goes off, listen to it. Not everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. I understand not wanting to be regretful, not wanting to jump to conclusions, but don't hesitate to call it like you see it. I'd much rather walk away from harm I've already experienced than keep experiencing it just because I can't trust myself. If you would rather risk it, go on witchyo bad, daredevil self. Just don't tell me I didn't tell ya. Cus I fuckin' did. And you know what? If you're duped again, IT'S OKAY. Forgive yourself, move on, and believe yourself next time.
*Disclaimer: I obviously do not have all of the answers, but I enjoy calling things as I see them and highlighting those pills I have had trouble swallowing. I hope there are some scraps here you can take with you.
Until the next human pisses me off enough to write another blog post - stay classy and sassy, ya'll.
amg
✊
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